Happy Valentine's Day!
by BMIK
Summary: In the afterlife the SHM -including Sephiroth- are forced by Aeris to celebrate Valentine's Day to learn how to behave and be sociable. This is what came of it...


**AN: Okay, I did this for a challenge over on LJ, because I felt that I need a pause from learning and this came out... It´s somewhat silly not exactly fluffy^^**

**Pairings: Zack x Aeris, Kadaj x Loz, Sephiroth x Yazoo**

**Disclaimer: Don´t own them.**

**And thank you PfenixB for the betaing! (as well as jsakurachan1 :))  
**

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Somewhere in the lifestream, on a flower field...

"Now everyone!" Aeris, the lovely flowermaiden excitedly clasped her hands together, as she knelt in the fresh, green grass. Her sparkling eyes moved from one of the four figures to the next, a benign smile resting on her rosy lips.

Her audience didn´t look half as enthusiastic, though. Loz was busy holding his breakfast in his stomach because the obnoxious smell of the flowers crowding on the ground and EVERYWHERE around them in a three-mile radius was pushing him to his limits. He was a bit green around the tip of his nose and a single tear sneaked down his cheek.

Kadaj was clenching his teeth, his left hand repeatedly twitching for Souba, the beloved sword that wasn´t there anymore, and whose loss he mourned especially at these times. How he hated these 'resocialization gatherings'…

The maiden´s gaze wandered over to the long haired remnant who answered her happy smile with a blank expression, letting his bored gaze trail over nothing in particular.

Lastly she met the cold eyes of the great general himself, who sat enthroned on the grass, eyeing her with evident disgust and barely concealed hatred.

Of all the sanctions they could have bestowed on him for his 'sins' and 'wrongs', spending the afterlife with the cheerful flowerbrat surely was the worst. And as if her mere presence wasn´t enough to make his afterlife a living hell, she also had to attempt to re-educate them, under the supervision of the planet teaching them how to behave 'properly' and cherish other people´s lives and…

They had trapped him here to force him to find pleasure in an insignificant, dull, and utterly ordinary 'life'. Well, technically they were all dead, but upon the option of being extinguished or take the offering of becoming a proper member of the dead´s society he had thought he´d decided for the lesser evil. A fatal mistake, in retrospect.

Apparently he wasn´t the only victim to hasty miscalculations, given that all of his remnants had gathered here too. At least it provided him with someone to torture and take his frustration out on.

Unfazed by the collective homicidal mood, the maiden shifted on her kneeling position and flashed an encouraging smile.

"As you all _surely_ know there´s this _special_ day coming in a few days." She chirped and shot an expectant look around but was only met with ignorance and open hostility.

"You know, _Valentine´s day_?" She exclaimed gaily, seeking for the group to give some kind of feedback that they remembered.

All she got was more homicidal looks and Loz retching his eggs out on her carefully raised flower field.

"Great!" The lovely maiden beamed, her pigtails bouncing of her pink dress as she sat up, driven by enthusiasm and genuine happiness. "Then you´ll think about something nice to give to your beloved sweetheart!" She winked at a grumpy Kadaj and a still very pale Loz who instantly bent over again at the revelation; as well as an indifferent Yazoo and an extremely apathetic general.

"And if you don´t know what to give you can always get beautiful _flowers_," the maiden smiled dreamily, lightly brushing with her slender hand over her precious green stuff, adding with a little giggle. "Zack will give me flowers, but shh! I don´t want to spoil the surprise. Actually I´m not supposed to know yet." A light, docile laugh swept over the flowery meadow, then the young woman stood up, shooing them away.

The four of them were more than willing to leave her presence. Kadaj marched down the field, with Loz in tow who stumbled after his lover and with a desperate face listened to his endless wishlist the shorter man just spontaneously knocked out of nowhere.

"This is… ridiculous," the great general summed it up, walking down the field towards their house, his expression dark and menacing, emerald eyes blazing. Yazoo walked beside him, giving his consent with a curt "Hn."

Sephiroth gave him an unreadable, sidelong glance, calmly informing him, "You better put some effort into this. Find me something suitable."

And with this he vanished inside the Villa Villekulla a certain maid had exclusively designed for the silver haired quadruple to bring more (very much unwanted) love and harmony into their miserable lives.

*

On the 14th day of February, Yazoo entered the house through the open front door, just coming back from running his Valentine´s errand. He wasn´t a person to go through great lengths for something that, at most, barely touched his conscience, so he hadn´t bothered getting anything before the actual day in question.

Loz had been different, though. He had been permanently stewing over what he should get Kadaj out of his endless 'suggestions'. Actually every one of them had been mandatory, but of course it was an impossible task to get ALL of them, so the bulky remnant had to choose something manageable. At least he had decided that only one thing could be achieved – that unfortunately hadn´t even been on Kadaj´s list- but judging from the screaming and sobbing that echoed through the house the youngest didn´t really appreciate Loz´s very hard efforts off tearing out some flowers and tie them up to a bunch. Apparently Loz´s Valentine had therefore turned out to be a lot more violent than he had wished for.

Smirking at the porcelain flying mere inches past his head, Yazoo calmly walked by, his own present dangling from his left hand. He was pretty positive that his gift would please the general; it hadn´t really been that hard to find something proper anyway.

Walking up the stairs, the long-haired remnant at least came to stand before the closed door of the bedroom he and Sephiroth shared, knocking against the yellow wood.

The coolly spoken "Enter" made him step inside the room and close the door behind him.

Sephiroth was resting on the bed in a sitting position, long legs crossed, intertwined fingers calmly resting on his muscular stomach. Upon seeing Yazoo enter the dimly lit room – the first thing they had done was setting up some blinds to block out the disgustingly bright and happy sunlight- he arched an elegant brow. From the living room, another crashing sound made its way up to their ears, both men inclining their heads at that in unison.

"I hope you had better luck in finding a suitable present," the general said smoothly, and with just a slightly sadistic undertone, as he expectantly surveyed the slender man in front of him.

Yazoo didn´t make a show about his present, simply throwing it on the bed and waiting for Sephiroth to give his approval.

With narrowed eyes the general reached for the Valentine´s gift, lifting it up into his lap and letting his cool gaze wander over it. Slowly, a small smile formed on his lips as he turned it and inspected it from all sides.

"I must say you have far exceeded my expectations," he finally smirked, eyes glowing with approval and a somewhat frightening fascination.

He looked up at the other, bidding him with a look to join him on the bed. Then he sat the bloody head of one lovely maiden – who didn´t look quite so happy anymore, with that shocked, horrified expression- on the headboard to give Yazoo his well-deserved Valentine´s reward.

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** Don´t worry, since Aeris is already dead she´ll just be 'revived' and the SHM probably get expelled...**

**Anyway, happy Valentine´s Day!**

**:)**

**Review please?**


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